Short Fiction: Class Trip

[Wrote this as part of a school project, but felt it was worth posting here. Enjoy!]

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Province-wide Ad to be broadcast on September 9th, 2031

Darwin-Moses K-12 Education Center - Welcome to Your Child’s Future Featuring the Class of 2043

Welcome to the Darwin-Moses Super-Education Center. We have the highest success rate for Publicly-Traded-Education Graduates in the Province of Ontario-by-Walmart™. 

[Stirring corpo-patriotic music plays] Our namesakes, Charles Darwin and Robert Moses, inspired our core values: we believe in the guiding hand of natural selection, and that the ends always justify the means.

It is my honour to introduce you to our pride and joy, the Class of 2043. These 21 students have consistently impressed and inspired us as they blazed through our world-leading Kindergarten curriculum. Let’s meet some of these prospects!

[Sports Announcer introduces each name] Michael CXVI. Current Predicted Value: $25 billion. Undoubtedly the star of the class, Michael CXVI is the one hundred sixteenth clone of trillionaire Michael Bogsirk. A lovable social butterfly, Michael CXVI also performs admirably in Hopscotch, Jump Rope and Junior Investment Opportunities.

Candice. Current Predicted Value: $1.2 million. Sometimes natural selection surprises you! Despite coming from a low income home, Candice is already studying at a fourth grade level while also having fun with peers such as June, Liam and Riley. She’s certainly one to watch: will she burn out, or rise above?

Trk’cx. Current predicted value: 8¢. Six limbs and a tough-as-nails exoskeleton have seen Trk’cx overcome many challenges posed by having no comprehension of human language. Its shell can be scraped for a lovely shade of paint, making it a favourite partner for arts and crafts activities. [Excited and warm voice] We love diversity here at Darwin-Moses! In addition to Trk’cx, we have Prospects like Jordan, Tani and Malik who we encourage to play and work together at every opportunity!

Shawn. Current Predicted Value: $55,000. Shawn is a creative and diligent worker, often there to comfort other students when they’re down. He’s often playing games of his own invention with Mallory, Pierre, Tani and O#70832. Perhaps he’ll grow into some decent attributes yet!

[Sombre but energetic electronic music plays] Of course, selection also took its toll. The Class fondly remembers Stephanie, whose family’s public housing was Rapidly Demolished™ last New Year’s Eve. Less fondly remembered is Evan, whose unsociable nature made him an easy choice for the Class to leave behind as a friendly donation to the Zoo in May. Finally, Priscilla, who is not remembered - thanks to the efforts of our ever-vigilant Darwin Moses Security team.

Invest in this Class today. Remember to enrol your own Prospects as soon as possible - their future is in your hands.

If Darwin-Moses is Cyberpunk - AI Generated

Province-wide Ad to be broadcast on October 2nd, 2037

Darwin-Moses K-12 Education Center - Perfect School*, Perfect Life Featuring the Class of 2043

* Term used for marketing purposes only. Darwin Moses K-12 makes no legal claim to be a ‘school’.

It’s that time of year: let’s once again check in with the star-studded Class of 2043! Upon seeing other Classes, it really is remarkable what a good batch we have here.

[Announcer] Pierre! CPV: $250 million. Oh, to be the child of parents as sublime and infamous as Pierre’s - what a dream! He has taken the initiative to pay his friends Shawn and Tani to complete all work on his behalf, and spends most of his time drinking in the teacher’s lounge alongside June and O#70832. It brings a tear to one’s eye, to see a future so bright.

Michael CXVI. CPV: $25 billion. Of course, the original Michael Bogsirk’s whereabouts and intentions for the future remain completely unknown to us here at Darwin-Moses K-12 (PLEASE STOP CALLING US ABOUT IT). Michael CXVI remains an absolute treasure of a student, excelling at every task and activity put before him. Alchemy class even saw him transforming his gold bars into pure diamond! It really goes to show the difference that character and materials can make, since the same class saw Dana permanently transformed into a hamster - sweetly adopted as a Class pet - and Liam banished to an infernal realm. Michael CXVI even bought lunch for the whole Class one day, truly embodying the Darwin-Moses leadership mindset.

Candice, PhD. CPV: $16 million. The unexpected jewel in the Class of 2043’s crown continues to shine bright while still keeping friendly with her peers. Darwin-Moses remains firm in requiring her to complete the mandatory curriculum to help her develop into a proper citizen of the future. So far she has been able to pay for her multiple post-secondary degrees off the back of public scholarships, awards and her software development career - conducted on rented Darwin-Moses computers! We are so proud of this product of the Darwin-Moses process!

Allison. CPV: $400,000. Looks like we have a Mean Girl, folks! On a recent trip to Ontario-by-Walmart™ Parliament, Allison and her friend Mallory managed to bully two insecure MPPs out of their seats. Allison became bored and decided to return to school at the end of the day, while Mallory was officially appointed MPP of Perth-Wellington. In a recent interview over Snapchat with Allison and O#70832, Mallory declared her bid for the spot of Premier: “🤣✔️.” That’s the Darwin-Moses process in action, folks!

[Techno Memorial Music] It is with heavy hearts that we must announce the passing of Malik, whose athletic acumen was unrivalled across the population of the Education Center. Malik has announced an intention to transition to Jennifer, whose continued matriculation at Darwin-Moses would be far too confusing for staff or peers to deal with. She is hereby excommunicated.

[List of previous losses scrolls quickly by]

Priscilla, Stephanie, Evan, Dalton, Jordan, Linda, Liam, Dana [cherished pet], Trk’cx [return after pupation!!]

Invest and Enrol! Your child’s future depends on our continued independence from Amazon Schools™. 

Charles Darwin and Robert Moses - Generated by hotpot.ai

Province-wide Ad to be broadcast on October 17th, 2042

Bogsirk-Darwin-Moses K-12 Education Center - The Cream of the Crop - Preorder Today! Featuring the Class of 2043

For the final year, it is our honour to bring you a look at the Class of 2043! These Prospects have proven themselves time after time. Their names have been chanted nationwide. Let’s see the ways they have been thriving!

[Announcer] Michael CXVI. CPV: $26 trillion. Having shares in the company that now owns most of the planet really sets Michael CXVI apart. Captain of every sports team and currently the star of 37 “Junior Bachelor” spin-offs, Michael CXVI embodies the Bogsirk-Darwin-Moses spirit to its utmost!

Allison. CPV: $46 million. Allison’s joint dance performance with Trk’cx and Shawn at the talent show this year brought the entire population to devastated tears. Allison’s operatic vocals and fluid movements were truly a beautiful thematic balance to the sight of our favourite 9ft. tall insectoid prospect devouring Shawn’s innards on stage. The duo’s upcoming world tour will donate all proceeds to Shawn’s struggling family.

Candice, PhD. BOUNTY: $425 BILLION. Inform the appropriate authorities if you have any information on the whereabouts or activities of this terrorist. Her radical views on the meaning of ‘equality’ in no way reflect the teachings of Bogsirk-Darwin-Moses.

O#70832. CPV: $50 million. It takes real dedication to make it this far in our illustrious institute’s curriculum. June, Brandon and ♠️ have all succumbed to the sheer workload of the final years. It is therefore truly heartening to see the effort the class has made on behalf of O#70832, which we recently learned is not in fact sentient, but is in actuality an incredibly valuable barrel of crude oil.

Pierre. CPV: $42069. Ha, what a guy!

[Techno Memorial Music] Guo never returned from the Class trip to the International Musk Station this past summer. Allison says he signed up for a trip to Mars, while the rest of the class say she pushed him out the airlock. Safe travels either way, Guo! Tani breached her Bogsirk-Darwin-Moses contract and has been placed in stasis. See her attempt to graduate with the Class of 2093!

[List of previous losses scrolls quickly by]

Priscilla, Stephanie, Evan, Dalton, Jordan, Linda, Liam, Dana [cherished pet], Malik, Shawn, June, Brandon, ♠️, Guo, Tani

Dystopian Eye by Jules B.

Epilogue

“Hey Li, come check this out. Graduation.”

“Woah.” The temperature rises as he crackles into the room. “That’s a fucking trip, Riley.”

We watch in thoughtful silence as Allison rolls O#70832 onto the stage and collects the two diplomas. Liam flickers in my peripheral, and I stamp out a few sparks which threaten to catch on the carpet. “Think she’s still going to sell it?”

A high-pitched squeak answers me. “Of course she will. She would have sold or eaten me too if Mike hadn’t stopped her.” I turn to see Dana, closer to human again but with further recovery still ahead of her. “Speak of the devil,” she tweaks her whiskers toward the screen.

Though Grace receives her diploma between Allison and Mike, she gets all of two frames before the camera is focusing in on the damn clone. The media has no time or interest in what they consider average, but I smile to see her all the same. I understood why she wanted to finish it out before joining us here.

“Can’t wait until the world finally sees what a doofus he is,” says Jennifer from the couch. We’re all fourteen years done with the exorbitant attention placed on the simple, mute pretty boy. “There’s that smile,” Jennifer grins warmly as we watch Mike sheepishly accept his diploma.

Priscilla’s excitement alerts us that our friends have returned. I start to turn, but Liam nods back to the screen intently. “Oh shit,” I mutter, “they’re actually going through with it.” 

The camera shudders as Trk’cx batters its way into the auditorium, sending debris and acid across the unoccupied seats. “Hard to tell, but it might be taller than the room at this point,” says Liam. A minute of chaos later, the camera feed dies.

We turn as one to see Evan lope into the room, followed by our fearless leader and her new prize. Candice has an undercut, septum and eyebrow piercings, and violent-looking tattoos across the dark skin of her arms and neck. Carving Liam out of Hell took a year of her life. Grabbing Pierre out of Maximum Security? Fifteen minutes with traffic.

“What’s next, boss?” I ask.

Candice pats me on the back. “We make a change.”

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As part of this assignment, I was interviewed by one of my groupmates about my writing process and inspirations. Take a look: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1oP8PT2VpFgbfy-LUU8osGbKcuJ0XFKgu/view?usp=drive_link