The Girl Who Loved the Sun (Short Fiction)
- Aug 11
- 4 min read
A tribute to limerence, wildfires, and eclipses
Introduction & Personal Writing
Hello! I'm back with another short story today, this one written just three weeks ago at quite a difficult moment for me, and thus coming from a very personal and emotional place.
But more on that in a moment—first, here are the short stories I shared two weeks ago, in case you're interested in more or in a point of comparison for how my writing has evolved over the past year. Second, you can still look forward to my next Dungeon Crawler Carl review soon (covering books 4, 5, 6, and 7), but I'll admit I burned myself out a little bit on the series and need a little more time to get excited about writing that piece. Also certainly on the way is a review & analysis of Between Two Fires, a fantastic dark medieval novel with some similarities to The Devils which I reviewed early this year.
Ok, a little about the story. (Feel free to scroll down and read it first if you prefer!) As I mentioned in my post at the time, my city was experiencing incredibly unhealthy air quality as a result of raging wildfires around the province. I'm used to supplementing my mental health with long walks and runs out in nature, so the disruption was very disorienting and depressing even beyond the overwhelming existential horror of climate change.
Earlier in the same week, I had learned about the idea of limerence—essentially when a crush becomes neurochemically addictive, with intrusive thoughts and a deadening of most other feelings. The experience can be greatly heightened by common aspects of ADHD, including hyperfixation, rejection sensitive dysphoria, and emotional dysregulation. A helpful explanation I found is that limerence often takes hold in people whose self-worth is lacking, but who feel more complete when they're around their crush. Thus identifying those areas of low self-esteem and generally focusing more on oneself first can be an effective preventative measure against limerence.
I learned about limerence the hard way, but I can't stress enough how important that knowledge has been to me over the past few weeks. It helps to explain so many past experiences that I otherwise struggled to reconcile with my understanding of the world. It prompted me to work on myself and tackle new projects, including writing this short story, inspired by both wildfires and limerence and more.
Would love to hear your thoughts on the story below! Thanks for reading and until next time <3
The Girl Who Loved the Sun
A tale, for you, from Gaia. Transcribed from the scorched bones that nourished this soil, absorbed by the questing roots of the Great Tree whose fruit you now consume. Plump and sweet, but also a little bitter, no?
Perhaps a hint of smoke, even these many lifetimes later?
Your pardon, a tale. The Girl who Loved the Sun. Keep eating, and see it from her eyes, feel it with her heart.
Relatable, to love the light? Certainly we have all seen the Sun’s beauty, felt the incandescent glow of Her attention. Many have fantasized and dreamed of basking eternal in Her affection; religions and nations have devoted themselves to praising Her. But all know not to stare too long.
All except the Girl, that is, whose heart and soul were pierced with shadow. When the Sun looked on her she felt healed and whole, a person worthy and capable of love.
Yet the Sun’s attention never lingers long, and each intervening darkness saw the Girl tormenting herself with tearing wishes and stabbing regrets. Whenever the Sun’s gaze alighted on her it found deeper, darker shadows to fill and less of the Girl to warm and adore.
Her sight and care for others waning, the Girl realized that she and the Sun were all that existed and all that mattered; a tale of true love that would shine through the ages. For who else had ever felt such overwhelming ardor and need, and had felt it shining back with such warmth and generosity?
In the long and painful nights, the Girl turned to fire for light and warmth and a reminder of her soulmate—though it was a pale imitation and only caused her to yearn all the more. So the fires she set grew and grew, apace with the ripping shadows in her heart and soul.
One day, the Girl was standing on the highest peak of the highest mountain. Demonstrating her devotion, yes—but also waiting for the raging inferno of last night’s fire to finally die down in the forests and valleys below. Her mind, her heart, and her soul now had room for nothing else but her love of her Sun.
When the light began to dim, she was confused. She stood above the clouds and the stinging black smoke. It was the middle of summer, and her Sun had promised to spend many more hours with her than this. Yet the darkness continued to grow.
Suddenly, squinting her scarred eyes in the dying light, she could see it. Her Sun was not alone in the sky—had taken up with Her vile and eternal consort, in fact. The Moon, who had overseen and reveled in every painful moment of the Girl’s life. An ill-conceived afterthought in the face of her and her Sun’s love.
But all those nights of fantasy and self-flagellation had worn the Girl’s denial down to a threadbare tatter, which crumbled before the overwhelming truth in the heavens above.
That her Sun loved another. That theirs was not a special and unique bond—that it had never been a bond at all. That all of her hope and joy, hate and criticism, love given and received and denied, was pure imagination. Immaterial and inconsequential.
As the Sun disappeared into Her lover’s embrace, what remained of the Girl’s heart broke fully and finally. She fell, staring into the towering and cascading wildfire that was the only remaining light in the world, and realized her life hadn’t been so inconsequential after all.
~
Ah, welcome back; I see you’ve finished your fruit. Yes, it grows quite well here. As do we all, focused as we are on caring for each other and our world. Take the seeds and plant them, is all we ask. Share the tale with the people there, in case they have forgotten their own great tragedies.
Ha, yes. May She watch over you as well, good traveler.
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