With musings about Hyperion & The Vanished Birds Stories of Lifetimes This week I finished my re-read of Hyperion (see my previous posts for more context on the book), and in doing so had the pleasure of experiencing its final, heart-wrenching story for a second time – now with four years and hundreds more novels under my belt. The final pilgrim to tell his tale is the Consul, who serves as the closest thing to a point-of-view character in the book's frame narrative – yet who remains entirely mysterious to the reader and his fellow pilgrims alike up until this point. I won't relate or even discuss his entire story today, since it also does a lot of heavy lifting in connecting the various story threads and the overall ideas of the Hyperion Cantos are for another time. The Consul tells the story of his grandparents: Merin Aspic, who lives and works on an interstellar spaceship, and Siri, a native of the oceanic planet Maui-Covenant. Merin and his ship are part of an effort to bring Siri's world into 'civilization' by installing a farcaster (essentially a teleportation gate between worlds), simultaneously opening it to millions of waiting tourists and oil-hungry corporations. Farcaster portal from the cover of Endymion , art by Gary Ruddell When they first meet, Merin is nineteen and Siri is sixteen. But time dilation means that while Merin travels back and forth at faster-than-light speeds, he experiences far less time than Siri does on Maui-Covenant: they re-unite seven times over the course of their lives, and each time Siri is eleven years older while he has aged less than a single year. (I'm not going to attempt to convey any of the romance here; consider reading these books to get a sense of it, but I personally found Dan Simmons – like so many 80's sci-fi authors – got a little carried away with it. That being said, he also doesn't let Siri's older age get in the way of his descriptions, so a win against ageism perhaps?) On his eighth return, at twenty-four years old and with the farcaster's activation imminent, Merin finds Siri passed away during the intervening years. Their son Donel is more than twice Merin's age and their grandson, the Consul, is already nine. Out of respect for Siri and his own realization about the damage 'civilization' will bring to Maui-Covenant, Merin destroys the farcaster at its moment of activation and ignites a decades-long colonial war. Suffice to say that the Consul still has feelings about this, but that will have to wait for now. The Consul from Hyperion , by Kriszta Arányi Last year I read Simon Jimenez' The Vanished Birds , which tells a strikingly similar story – so much so that I checked and yes, Jimenez lists Hyperion as his foremost inspiration. It's wonderful to see books ~35 years apart examining similar issues, within the context of their own age. This lovely book sees local planet-bound boy Kaeda meet Captain Nia Imani and establish a relationship together, but her interstellar trips of a few months see him age fifteen years each time she returns. Unlike with Merin and Siri there is no expectation of monogamy here, yet we see Nia's emotion at losing Kaeda after knowing him all his life. Colonialism, capitalism and empire are major themes here as well: Kaeda's world exists entirely to supply food and other resources to the central planets of the corporation Nia works for. Their lack of education, technology and social mobility is strictly enforced; they are stuck as slaves to distant masters. Even Nia's situation isn't much better, living job-to-job with harsh schedules keeping her and her crew from enjoying the supposed liberty of their interstellar craft. The second half of the story corresponds in some ways with the final Hyperion Cantos book, so I'll return at some point (perhaps Thursday?) to further examine these themes and how the authors offer satisfying conclusions despite tackling such overwhelming issues! Cover of The Vanished Birds by Simon Jimenez ADHD, Relationship Decay, Object Permanence & Time Blindness Took longer than expected, but we got here. If you have ADHD, I hope you see where I’m going with this. If you don’t (have it or see it), this probably sounds like a hell of a leap. But this is an idea I’ve been chewing on lately, so why not share it and hear people’s thoughts? Having ADHD sometimes feels exactly like being Merin or Nia, where you can pick back up friendships as though no time has passed for you – but you can tell that time has definitely passed for the other person. There doesn't seem to be a single name or reason for this effect. This thread puts it nicely in terms of "relationship decay", where neurodivergent minds don't experience the same loss over time as neurotypical ones. Almost certainly linked to this is our Time Blindness and our struggle to perceive events beyond the binary of 'Now' and 'Not now' . If we're only ever in the 'Now', it makes a kind of sense to me that a person could return after a long time but for us it's just them returning – again a binary present/not present, without room for time to have much impact. And that's what mostly came up while I was researching this: not-present may be barely perceptible to us, but for the people around us it can represent months or years of no contact. I saw this described often in terms of object permanence and the phrase 'out of sight, out of mind.' (It isn't quite the same as a toddler's path to object permanence: we know things exist, but without external stimulus we struggle to think of them.) In their respective stories, Merin and Nia travel and work for a few months between the blissful moments they have with their planet-bound partners. Still a long time, but each visit is just around the corner compared to the decade and more that Siri and Kaeda experience. They re-connect having lived and changed little, while their partners have lived a significant fraction of their lives. Time has affected them differently, just as it does for re-connecting people with and without ADHD. Practical Advice I don't have much of a moral to offer here, beyond a reminder to check in on the people you care about – even if it feels like just a moment ago that you last spoke (but probably not if it literally was a moment ago). It's Mother's Day here in Canada, so reach out to your (or a) cool mom! If you're struggling with these ADHD symptoms, consider reading more on the topic – managing them (better) is possible! And, I suppose, know what you're getting into if you start an interstellar relationship this week. Thanks as always for reading, until next time <3

Living and dying in the grey Vampire Blues There's a lot to love about Ryan Coogler's Sinners (2025), from its powerful soundtrack to its great female leads , but I'll leave those discussions to their experts and simply focus in on the film's use and representation of vampires today. This is my eighth post about vampires , but have no fear if you haven't done the reading; I'll keep my discussion as self-contained as possible. Expect spoilers ahead : watch the film first if you intend to do so! I think the film uses vampires to explore and accentuate two of its central ideas: the struggle of living between two extremes and the sacred importance of community and fellowship. Official Sinners Poster Between Two Extremes Struggling to exist in the grey area, though both sides would have you believe things are entirely black-and-white: once you start looking, this motif appears everywhere in the film. Hailee Steinfeld's character Mary is the most obvious example, as a white-passing woman with Black ancestry who nonetheless tries to fit in with both groups. Her struggle is evident through just a few lines at the juke joint: first treated suspiciously and asked to leave due to her appearance, then warned that her life will be at risk if her white community finds out she was there. (Chinese couple Grace and Bo Chow presumably also navigate this grey area to some extent.) As the preacher's son, Sammie lives between fearful respect for his father and passion for his music. Smoke and Stack tread the line between moneymaking and community building, and only earned their current wealth by playing rival Italian and Irish factions against each other. The setting is also one where Black Americans have legal freedom but face incredible challenges in securing economic and social liberty; cotton plantations remain a primary employer for them and racism is both rampant and deadly. Vampires likewise represent a middle ground between life and death, an afterlife between heaven and hell. Symbolically, it should then be no surprise that Sinners ' vampire Remmick presents himself as an alternative to either death at the hands of the Klan or a continued life of struggle: "I am your way out. This world already left you for dead. Won't let you build. Won't let you fellowship. We will do just that. Together. Forever." His supposed vision is of a great equalization through undeath, which has sparked a lot of fascinating discussions online about exploitation , cultural erasure and, of course, vampire movie tropes. Ultimately, he wants community of his own creation – and control over Sammie's gift for empowering it. Sinners Juke Joint scene, by @shuta.bug Community & Fellowship I love that this film's inclusion of the supernatural doesn't begin and end with vampires. Annie's Hoodoo and Sammie's Christianity both play their roles in determining characters' actions if not directly interceding, and the transcendent power attributed to musicians and storytellers serves as a perfect core for this story about community. (The Choctaw vampire hunters pursuing Remmick at the beginning are also perfect!) Fellowship through and around (blues) music is deeply important to Black culture , so Ryan Coogler brilliantly centers it in both setting and plot. Sammie's gift to connect with spirits of past and future is beautifully symbolic of the real role of this music, while also acting as a spiritual beacon to creatures like Remmick who are forever cut off from their own family and community. The image of the warm festivities within and cold loneliness without has never been more fitting. Annie also demonstrates that Remmick's vision of community is stunted and false, by choosing true death and reunion with her close spirits over being trapped on the mortal plane. That being said, she also seems to imply that Remmick's long-overdue death will "free his spirit from this curse" – so perhaps he'll finally get his deeper wish anyway. Fandango Sinners Poster, by Estevan Silveira Outro It's fascinating and refreshing to see a film of this scale explore vampires in any kind of grey area – though I suppose anyone looks good compared to the Klan. Remmick's influence over them broken, the mid-credits scene suggests that vampire Stack and Mary have been able to exist on their own terms for the past sixty years – albeit disconnected from the spirits of their loved ones and any ability to see the sun. These are some relatively under-explored themes in vampire fiction – doubly so on film – so it's lovely to have them in such a celebrated piece of art. As I've written about extensively, vampires offer plenty of interesting ideas beyond simply being monsters lurking in the dark. That being said, this film certainly did lean into the tropes as well. What did you think of the garlic, stakes and need for invitations? I thought for sure running and/or holy water would come up at the end, but maybe Stack beat that particular weakness to the punch. Did I miss any key examples or connections? I'd love to learn more about this film and its origins! Thanks for reading and until next time <3

"The River Lethe's Taste is Bitter" The Scholar's Tale What would you do if given the divine command to follow in the footsteps of Abraham with his son Isaac ? What if your family began suffering, though there was no apparent connection? How bad would it have to be for you to find hope in the idea of finally following the command? Welcome to the story of Sol Weintraub and his infant daughter Rachel, as shared with his fellow pilgrims on their voyage to confront the alien Shrike. Two weeks ago I write about Lenar Hoyt's tale in Dan Simmons' Hyperion (1989); consider (re)visiting that introduction for more details about the novel and its structure as a collection of pilgrims' tales. I'll offer a brief warning that this isn't a happy story, but I find it to be a fascinating exploration of love, loss and faith through the lens of a uniquely sci-fi tragedy. Japanese Cover of Hyperion (Sol & Rachel 2nd from right), art by Noriyoshi Ohrai The Time Tombs Rachel was born to Sol and Sarai Weintraub more than fifty years before the current pilgrimage – a fact which seems odd, considering that Sol tells his story while cradling her infant form in his arms. (Rest assured, I'm not about to reveal that she's Grogu 's sister or anything.) She had a pleasant childhood raised by loving parents, eventually attending a prestigious university to follow her passion of archaeology. At the age of twenty-five she takes an opportunity to study the mysterious Time Tombs on the world of Hyperion alongside a small team, having passed over other alien artifacts on the world of Armaghast. (The same which Father Paul Duré called proof of alien Christianity in Hoyt’s tale. I love how Simmons subtly connects elements of each story to make his universe feel more alive.) It's while alone within one of the seven Tombs – shaped as a Sphinx – that the Time Tides surge and Rachel has an encounter with the Shrike which leaves her unconscious. Upon waking a few days later, she has lost all memory of the past week. This continues moving forward as well: she retains no new memories day-to-day, and loses her most recent day of prior memories upon waking each morning. She is aging backwards. Sol & Rachel Weintraub, by Kriszta Arányi Untold Suffering At the same moment as Rachel's encounter with the Shrike, Sol receives a vision in which an 'immense' voice tells him: “Sol! Take your daughter, your only daughter Rachel, whom you love, and go to the world called Hyperion and offer her there as a burnt offering at one of the places of which I shall tell you.” And in his dream Sol had stood and said, “You can’t be serious.” Sol takes little heed, being a religious scholar whose mind could conceivably conjure this nightmare in the way of normal dreams. The vision returns often, however, and at least a part of Sol begins to take it a little seriously once he learns about Rachel's condition. In the style of Memento and Before I Go to Sleep , Rachel is able to function well enough for the first eight years by watching a tape of herself explaining her situation each morning. That doesn't make things easy, however: at university she must learn and re-learn more material each day; she attempts to continue a relationship with her boyfriend even past the point she has lost all memory of him, but eventually finds it impossible to fall in love with a complete stranger each morning. By the time she has returned to the age of seventeen, the tapes have accumulated to the point that it takes Rachel more than a day to relearn every important detail of her life. She takes stimulants to stay awake and learn it all one last time before asking Sol (who has spent eight years consulting with nearly every scientist and doctor in human civilization on Rachel's behalf) to just let her live each day from now on without the heavy burden of this knowledge. So, Sol and Sarai do their best to give Rachel another pleasant childhood. And... can you imagine? I simply can't do it justice: every day they must lie to Rachel about why things have changed so much from her most recent memories – already almost two decades past when she's seventeen – and every day they must retire with the knowledge that she won't retain any of these happy memories upon waking. They do their damnedest, first inviting Rachel's original friends then her friends' children to her birthday parties and shielding her from the voracious press once her story gets out. Eventually, when Rachel is four years old, Sarai reveals that she's also been experiencing the vision and its commandment – perhaps even a more detailed version of it – and has reached the point where she believes they must take Rachel back to Hyperion if there is to be any hope of saving her. (Sarai's then immediately killed off, which I personally consider a crime of the highest magnitude. She should be the pilgrim instead of Sol, missing his knowledge of biblical philosophy instead of him missing her for cliché fridging reasons.) Sol offering Rachel to the Shrike, by Gary Ruddell Faith & Love But we're stuck with Sol, and he spends plenty of time philosophizing about Abraham and Isaac in relation to his own predicament. (A writer with more biblical knowledge than myself has analyzed this connection here ). As he finishes his tale, we learn that Rachel is now less than six weeks old. He has come to offer himself in her place, but as the image above suggests, he eventually must obey the vision and test his faith by hoping for a miracle from the utterly alien Shrike. My frustration about fridging aside, Sol has lost everything and suffered horribly just to reach this point. His life for twenty-five years has been dedicated to helping his daughter by any means necessary, both by consulting experts and daily performing the emotional labour of keeping her happy. But would Sol and Sarai have led a happier life if Rachel (like the vast majority of people who encounter the Shrike) had simply died that day on Hyperion instead of torturously regressing? I don't think so. In spite of everything, they would have chosen this road every time. That's why I wanted to write about this story. It's an incredible treatise on love, faith and loss; I think it has to give the stories of Job and Abraham a run for their money. And to do so while talking about magic-like de-aging and a three meter-tall spiky stand-in for God ? Brilliant. What happens to Rachel, you might ask? Well believe it or not, she's actually in the topmost image twice (in a choice of a depiction), as a part of both Sol's and Colonel Fedmahn Kassad's stories – but his tale is for another time. Suffice to say that her life doesn't get any more normal upon being handed to the 'Angel of Retribution from Beyond Time' at the moment of her 'birth'. A final note: Sol's tale is subtitled with "The River Lethe's Taste is Bitter", referencing the river from Greek myth which runs through Hades and drinking the water of which causes one to lose their memories. It suggests that the Weintraub family are now trapped in an underworld of sorts, having experienced the Lethe's bitter taste with Rachel's amnesia. --- Went a little longer and did a little more recap than I meant to – let me know your thoughts on this style compared to that of my piece on Hoyt's story! Thanks for reading and until next time <3

More than a breakup song , more than a Dracula adaptation Turn on captions to see lyrics! Middle of the night 'Lachryma' – related to the Latin word for 'tear' – was the second single Ghost shared ahead of their full album Skeletá , which released last week. Clever as always, they even set the song's premiere to midnight in reference to its lyrics & theme. I've seen a fair amount of talk online that this is a cut and clean breakup song – somewhat out of place for Ghost – with occasional references to songwriter Tobias Forge saying that the song is "about self-deceit." On first watch of the music video my mind immediately drew a connection to the film Nosferatu (2024) and hasn't let go since. As I'll get into, I think my interpretation meshes with both of the above; but I'll happily admit that I might be reading too far into a tangential connection. Before we get into it, I have previously looked at Ghost's "Twenties" and newly released "Marks of the Evil One" if you're interested! I've also done six pieces on Vampires which I may refer back to today, since this is part seven. Now, into the night. Lachryma poster, by rwph.jpeg (Ripping through) The Lyrics At the core of this song is a reflection on those (anxious, racing, intrusive) thoughts that consume us late at night when we are alone and without distractions. I believe you can take that and apply it to whichever interpretation(s) you prefer; what those thoughts are about is arguably less important than the simple fact of their debilitating existence. Ripping through every poem, like a vampire should And it takes one to know 'em, like I knew you would Despite being the only line to directly reference vampires, these are by far the most ambiguous lines to me. I quite like one interpretation from a Redditor , wherein this is speaking to an ex who knew and "tried every romantic trick in the book" ("ripping through every poem") but was perhaps incapable of just being themself, which ties neatly into the idea of self-deceit. Another angle could be that the vampire represents the racing thoughts, as it seems to for the rest of the song. How often have you tried to repeat nursery rhymes, count sheep or sing bottles of beer on the wall in an effort to fall asleep, only to have your efforts ripped to shreds by these intrusive thoughts? The second line gets a little hazier, but could be self-accusatory with the horrible idea that you're somehow responsible for or deserving of being in this situation. In the middle of the night it feeds, In the middle of the night it eats you Everybody knows, everywhere I go I can never run and I cannot hide First two lines here are where you really see the equation of the vampire to the anxious thoughts: both come at night to feed upon us, weakening us while becoming stronger themselves. In the context of a breakup the use of 'you' is interesting for implying that both parties are experiencing this, or perhaps that the singer is wishing this vampire upon their ex. The following lines could  be about an incredibly public breakup, but I think the struggle remains internal: the singer can’t escape what is eating at them from within, and is experiencing their emotions so powerfully that it feels like they must be visible to the world around them. I'm done crying over someone like you, I'm done crying, I hope you're feeling it too now, I'm done... Crying, crying Now that sweet's gone sour, seeping down the cracks Getting worse by the hour, the vile rot attacks Everybody knows, everywhere I go And I cannot wait until the day when I'm done crying over someone like you I hope the rest of the lyrics are mostly self-evident if you follow the same reasoning. "Crying over someone like you" is certainly a cornerstone of the breakup interpretation, but I think it could just as easily refer to letting go of a past or imagined version of yourself . To me, "sweet's gone sour" refers to how anxious thoughts initially present themselves as helpful before becoming paralyzing and overwhelming. (Also makes me think of a potential addiction angle, with drug/alcohol dependency in place of the anxious thoughts!) But that final line absolutely steals the show: admitting, after so many statements to the contrary, that in reality we're still working on ourselves and looking forward to the day when this issue no longer causes us so much pain. There's the most obvious form of self-deceit, and it's nice to see the song overcome it. Journey before Destination and all that. Ellen Hutter from Nosferatu , by matchayayart Nosferatu The Lachryma music video is mostly focused on the stunning Papa V Perpetua and Nameless Ghouls, but also tells a brief story of the 'Girl in the Castle,' portrayed by Miriam Ingrid. We see the Girl fearful in bed, tossing and turning as a dark figure rapidly moves in and out of view, occasionally lunging toward her but never touching her. Eventually she stands and moves to her mirror. (A full minute of the song then passes without showing her, which I take as allowing for some character growth/introspection.) We then see her blow out her candles (removing her protection from the darkness) and confidently sing along the lyrics "I'm done" into the mirror. It's after the end of the song that we see her look back over her shoulder at the vampire lying in her bed, before she turns back to us and gives a small smile. Applying the same symbolism from the lyrics to the video, we see the Girl wrestling with and terrified of her inner demons for some time before standing and confronting herself in the mirror. She gains the confidence to tackle her demons head-on, and eventually finds a measure of self-acceptance: the demons are still there, but she now has a measure of knowledge, confidence and control in the situation. Nosferatu tells a very similar story , with protagonist Ellen Hutter wrestling with a personal demon in the form of the dread Count Orlok. She magically bound herself to him as a lonely young woman desperate for companionship, and remains literally and emotionally haunted by the vampire years later as a married woman. The film's plot may mirror Dracula , but ultimately every other character and story beat is extraneous: Orlok represents a dark past version of Ellen, and so it is she who must confront her demons and put Orlok to rest. She finally invites him back into her bed (veins?) and keeps him there until sunrise, upon which he expires (like a vampire should). Like the Girl, she makes peace with her demon by facing it head on. Now, I personally don't love that Ellen paid for this internal (and incidentally world-saving) resolution with her life – sure, her soul is now purified, but wouldn't it be more interesting to see her carry forward this growth into her relationship with Thomas? It almost feels like the film is condemning her for her past actions, despite the progress she made. Anyway, all that to say I prefer the smile at the end of Lachryma. After so long spent in terror, she's made peace with her inner darkness. It even manages to have a real Ghost undertone of truly embracing the darkness if you look at it from a certain angle. Miriam Ingrid in the Lachryma music video Self-Acceptance Being aware of and confronting our thoughts head on... you guessed it, the answer was once again mindfulness all along! I truly love this song and how well the video manages to convey its themes. I can't help but wonder whether there was time for Nosferatu (2024) to influence it or whether Tobias Forge was simply inspired by the original – he certainly appreciates his silent films ! I didn't directly touch on vampires as much as I expected, but I think their symbolism as inner demons/anxious thoughts still warrants the categorization. I've previously written about how they can symbolize addiction (as I said could easily apply here), the importance of mirrors in vampire stories (as shown in the music video) and much more. I thought this might be the piece where I finally had to reference Twilight – Bella can fix Edward, just as Ellen can fix Orlok and the Girl can fix her new friend – and I suppose that now it is. But it's really not my area of expertise, so please let me know if there are more and better similarities and ideas to discuss! Would love to hear your thoughts on Lachryma, Nosferatu , my strange attempts at connecting them or anything in between. Until next time, thanks for reading <3

Skeletá and the boy(s) who cried apocalypse Skeletá album cover, art by Zbigniew M. Bielak Skeletá I love stories, and I love music that incorporates storytelling. Ghost is a band that manages to draw me in not only with the fascinating themes behind each and every song – find my analysis of their song ' Twenties ' here – but also with the ongoing fictional narrative of the band itself. Ghost's sixth studio album Skeletá also marks the debut of its fifth lead singer, Papa V Perpetua, embodied by Tobias Forge (as were his predecessors). Two distinctions this time around are that a) Papa IV remains alive in the narrative, having taken on a managerial role in the organization and that b) for the first time, Papa V's costume doesn't cover his mouth! (Believe me when I say that fans are enthralled by the ability to actually see him sing.) Skeletá is a wonderful and varied album that I've been listening to on repeat since its release on Friday, but there's one song in particular that's been calling on me to give it a closer look. So without further ado, consider taking a listen: On the surface If there's one thing you can count on Ghost to do, it's to explore some biblical, religious and/or satanic imagery. This song is no exception, opening with lines quoted almost exactly from the Book of Revelation. One rider has a bow // Rides a steed, white, and wears a crown, conquering A second rider joins, on a steed // Red, swinging a sword, mongering … The third rider looks cool on his steed // Black, a pair of scales in his hand The fourth rider is Death, rides a steed // Pale, and Hades follows him Say hello to the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. Ghost even stays true to the original passage by only naming Death; the names of the others (Conquest/Pestilence, War, Famine) coming only from later scholarly interpretation. As their boy band name suggests, their arrival heralds the end of the world. It's therefore a little strange that the Pre-Chorus and Chorus seem to be appealing to them for help. Fall on us, and hide us // From the tyrant who is satanically enthroned There! There! // The marks are spreading everywhere There! There! // The marks of the evil one … There! There! // The marks are spreading everywhere There! There! // Disciples of the evil one There! There! // Watch! They're crawling out the serpent's lair There! There! There! // The marks of the evil one So there are signs and disciples of evil all around, even brazenly associating with the biblical serpent. I think it's only fair to assume that the 'satanically enthroned tyrant' and 'evil one' are referring to the same figure. Perhaps the apocalypse is preferable to living with – or is a price worth paying to eliminate – this evil? We're plowing through the seals // Like there is no tomorrow to be seen As if the falling sky is nothing but an ancient dream And when the sun eclipses // It's just abracadabra // Some hocus pocus sham … Here they come, here they come, here they come There is a fucking there! There! // The marks of the e— The seven seals are a part of bringing on the end of the world in Revelation, so their smashing through them sounds intentional. And judging by how the lyrics cut off, it sounds like they got what they wanted – though they continue their (paranoid?) warning cries right up until the end, so it's hard to imagine they felt any catharsis or satisfaction from it. So on the surface, I think the moral is to be careful what you wish for – and moreover that expecting external solutions to your problems will never address your internal strife. That kind of change has to come from within. The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, by Victor Vasnetsov (1887) Is there a deeper meaning? Yes. Am I entirely sure what it is? Well... What little speculation I've seen online has been quick to call the song political, with either the Horsemen or the 'satanically enthroned tyrant' representing Trump and similar fascist world leaders. That makes a lot of sense, considering the Trump imagery in 'Twenties' and that the song so clearly evokes the paranoid, unthinking and hateful worldview of MAGA supporters – they see evil everywhere, plain and simple. I don't think Trump (or his counterparts) can be the 'tyrant' or 'evil one', unless those lines are somehow from another perspective. But perhaps they can the horsemen, being called on to accelerate the end of the world. That is a terrifying real-world perspective held by far-right evangelicals after all: rather than practice empathy , shed enough blood and cause enough suffering that Jesus has to come down and save them. And if that's your goal, what better method than to install a metaphorical Horseman of the Apocalypse in the White House? To illustrate this point, I want to bring back one stanza I skipped over above: We're plowing through the seals // Like there is no tomorrow to be seen As if the falling sky is nothing but an ancient dream The first line just fits, since they literally want the end of the world and no tomorrow – though it also stands on its own, regarding our society's rapid descent in recent months and years. The 'falling sky' represents the true consequences of these actions, forgotten amid zealous belief and the busy, tumultuous nature of our lives. And when the sun eclipses // It's just abracadabra // Some hocus pocus sham The funniest line points out the horrible irony that the same people so desperate for the end of the world also deny the actual warning signs of global warming and so much else that science has to tell us. My interpretation is that Ghost is alluding both to the famous eclipse from last year (which of course has been called a hoax online) and that described in Revelation 6:12, "a great shaking occurred, a total eclipse of the sun took place , and the moon turned bloodlike." The line works best with both references taken into account and perhaps even equated: anti-intellectualism denying the eclipse and zealous followers denying the sign of the end times, calling it a work of illusion because they can't understand it. Maybe that's too clever, but hey I did say something very similar with regard to 'Twenties', so perhaps they just are that clever. I, on the other hand, feel slightly less than clever when it comes to interpreting the lines 'hide us // from the tyrant who is satanically enthroned'. My best guess is that this represents the demonization of Trump's opponents – there are certainly constant suggestions of satanic cabals and whatnot. If anything Trump's presidency has let many monsters out of hiding, though. I'd love to hear your take! Ultimately the message is similar – careful what you wish for – but with the devastating added context that it's actually other people wishing for it and that they are completely closed off to reason. The apocalypse they bring about won't save or satiate them, but it will damn us all. Papa V Perpetua and the Nameless Ghouls Back to Sanity What is it about these close reading pieces that makes me feel like I'm halfway to being a conspiracy theorist myself? I actually didn't have a clear interpretation when I started writing today, but rather found it while writing. A fun and teaching experience! Anyway, let me know if you'd like to hear about any other songs from the album! I've already got an idea for a piece on ' Lachryma ' and Nosferatu . Maybe a deep dive into Cowbell Ghoul 's return in ' Umbra '? Thanks for reading and until next time <3

Through the lens of " The Power ", " The Handmaid's Tale " and more The Relative Value of Definitions Is it more useful to learn a word by its textbook definition or through context? Most of us default to the former, in part because that information is perpetually at our fingertips. Yet – and this is certainly a larger topic for another time – I feel like we've become too reliant on simple statements that close off the need for further discussion and reflection. It's hard to go viral with a complex perspective on any topic, where a pithy remark can spread like wildfire. A little over a month ago I stumbled on the fascinating observation that: " Dystopian fiction is when you take things that happen in real life to marginalized populations and apply them to people with privilege " (I saw it elsewhere, but I'm quoting from a Reddit post ). I agree with the observation – that's what my post today is about – but I also think it's unhelpfully reductive as a definition of dystopian fiction as a whole. We're so quick to assign statements like this one of two values: it's absolutely true, or it's completely worthless – just read through that Reddit thread and see every person take one stance or the other. So today I'd like to look at two contexts where this observation is useful, explore how and why it's important and generally remind us all to think beyond the binary. 'The Power' Cover Redesign, by APVANO Reversal & Removal of Privilege Speaking of definitions, here are some for (social) privilege and dystopian fiction . Just as dystopian fiction is more complex than the above Redditor's definition, social privilege is far from black and white, have or have not; intersectionality helps to understand how everyone has many different aspects in which they may or may not be privileged. Anyway. My book club read Naomi Alderman's The Power for April and we're meeting to discuss it tonight, so believe me when I saw this book is fresh on my mind. The novel sees teenage girls and women suddenly manifest the power to channel electricity, capable of causing varying levels of injury up to and including death (with enough skill, even making the murder look indistinguishable from a heart attack). The central concern of the book is the reversal of privilege based on sex, men's physical advantages now overruled by women's electricity . To a lesser extent, it also impacts the privilege of age – teenage girls have greatest control over the Power – and introduces a new form of privilege: some girls have it stronger than others. Attempting to apply the above definition, we would call this a dystopia because privileged people – in this case men – are now experiencing the real-world conditions of marginalized people – in this case women. And um, yes, that's exactly what Alderman is doing here. Men are objectified, harassed, sexually assaulted, stripped of their legal rights and casually murdered at various points in the book. The frame narrative reverses broader, societal sexism. A woman from 'The Power', art by GCLCG It's a fascinating idea, even if I found the execution a little mixed. Most men in this book are deeply unlikeable and are exactly the type who are complaining about being oppressed in our own world, making it difficult to get a sense of their actual experiences until a few brutal scenes towards the ending. Even then it feels overshadowed by the rapid escalation to total war, which doesn't feel at all related to Alderman's thesis. But in a few scenes you do get a real sense of the privilege being reversed, and those are a powerful reminder of the everyday sexism that women in our world deal with. That's the reason dystopian fiction does this, right? To demonstrate real world conditions by making them just a little bit closer to home for the reader. On that note, The Handmaid's Tale . Terrifying, gobsmacking, unreal in its portrayal of an extremist religious and patriarchal society. Except not that unreal: author Margaret Atwood was inspired by the recent history of Afghanistan (where women had many rights prior to a sudden reversal with the rise of the Taliban in the 90's) and transposed that situation onto modern America. Moving the situation closer to home, making it affect people with privilege (in this case those of being Western and often white) heightens the feeling of dystopia in a way that, sadly, real history didn't for many viewers. So while these works can be eye-opening, they can't be the start and end of our understanding – ideally, works like The Handmaid's Tale could point to the real world situation instead of overwriting it. Every viewer who says "at least that could never happen here" badly needs that wake up call before it's too late; just look at the States right now. Offred, by runningquill_art Art Imitates Life Even moving beyond these concrete examples – and even beyond dystopian stories – the idea at the core of this definition is one that my whole blog is based on: the stories we tell reflect aspects ourselves and our society. A lot of YA dystopian fiction invents novel, exciting situations to impart morals highly relevant to the real world and growing up in it. Others exaggerate real-world marginalization to achieve a similar goal of highlighting real issues, whether social, economic, environmental etc. – and more often than not a combination. By reading these stories, empathizing with their characters and finding the real humanity in them, hopefully we can begin to recognize the shape of these situations in our own lives and try to ward them off before it's too late. Thanks for reading and until next time <3

A mystery of resurrection, control and an inescapable curse Happy Easter! In honour of the holiday today, I want to share with you a relevant parable from a lesser-known bible: Dan Simmons' 1989 novel Hyperion – and I'm not being entirely facetious when I compare those two books. This is the same series that offered me words to live by and which I truly believe could improve the world if enough people heard and internalized their message of mindfulness: " Choose again ." The first novel of the series follows seven pilgrims on their journey to the enigmatic Time Tombs, where each hopes to petition the otherworldly Shrike with their personal wish. Most of the novel is spent learning about the characters' inciting backstories, which the pilgrims take turns sharing with the group. These stories are excellent , each raising its own fascinating concepts and themes; I think a few could be published alone as short stories and win awards. But they are even better together, illuminating seemingly disparate parts of this world and asking the pilgrims and readers alike to find parallels and connections and thereby get a sense of what is to come. First to share his story is Father Lenar Hoyt, a Jesuit priest in obviously terrible health. I won't spend paragraphs recapping it; please feel free to read a succinct version here . The Shrike, by Ad-Exitium The Cruciform and the Cross At the core of Hoyt's story is a powerful use of symbolism to explore the nature of faith. His predecessor Paul Duré was the narratively perfect person to stumble on apparent evidence of Christianity manifesting apart from humanity, because he is currently serving exile for having falsified exactly such a discovery on another planet. This makes him all the more eager to learn about the strange cruciforms on Hyperion where less fervent explorers might have taken greater caution. The mystery of how these Christian-like symbols appeared on Hyperion is incredibly intriguing even beyond Duré's personal desire to see a resurgence of his Church. Is it a coincidence that another religion used the same symbols, down to the ancient stained glass windows in the Bikura's place of worship? Is it genuine proof of the Christian God? By far the most striking aspect to me is how Simmons has twisted the biblical promise of eternal life . Despite having no apparent recollection of the human religion, the Bikura eerily mimic John 3:16 by believing and demonstrating that becoming one with the cruciform grants literal, worldly immortality. The Cruciform, by Tsabo6 Theirs is no paradise, however: the cruciform parasite strips away their humanity with every resurrection and prevents them from traveling beyond a small radius, effectively leaving them trapped as mindless and undying worshipers. Perhaps the greatest irony is that the cruciform prevents their souls from ever reaching true paradise, if it exists, until the Bikura are finally put to rest by nuclear armageddon. Paul Duré fares little better upon accepting and later trying to remove the parasite at all costs. His ultimate plea to his God, crucifying himself on a tesla tree in hopes of finding true death, only condemns him to seven years of horrifying suffering as the cruciform continually resurrects him only to be burned and electrocuted once more. Of course, a story is just a story... right? Maybe not, as the reader quickly learns that Hoyt's extreme physical distress is the result of his carrying two cruciforms on his body (his own and Duré's), and is only functional at all thanks to repeated injections of 'ultramorphine'. His plea to the Shrike will be to separate himself from the cruciform, that he and Duré might return to the Cross. Hoyt finding the crucified Paul Duré, by Andrey Anikin The Future of the Cruciform One additional bit of stark imagery related to the cruciform comes from the later Hyperion Cantos novels. Between the second and third books, the world of the series changes drastically: among many other things, previous means of instantaneous travel between planets is now impossible and the cruciform's flaws have been removed, meaning that resurrection no longer comes at the cost of one's humanity and traveling beyond a small radius no longer causes crippling pain to the host. How are these things related? Well, turns out rapid interstellar travel is still possible; it just requires an acceleration that (technical term:) smooshes a human body into unrecognizable pulp. So would you believe it, billions if not trillions of people now accept the cruciform in order both to travel and avoid that pesky 'death'. Suffice to say that Duré got his wish for a resurgence of the Catholic Church, because that institution has incorporated the cruciform parasites as the absolute symbol of personal faith. God's promise of the afterlife brought into this universe, and many more justifications. Immortal clergy of an all-powerful Church leads to exactly the level of corruption you'd expect, with little to no chance of fresh blood being able to come in and work change. It's been three and a half years since I read the final books of the series, but the image of zealous Catholic soldiers repeatedly turning into red soup, confident in their faith and their parasite to resurrect them as they travel, has really stuck with me! Father Lenar Hoyt, by Kriszta Arányi Final Rest I won't spoil the fascinating explanation for the cruciform and all today, out of concern for time but also because I think mystery is often just as fun. Consider reading these incredible books to get a closer look! From a Christian lens, I think the cruciform carries an incredibly strong moral about idolatry: on the basis of its shape and warped (but attractive) function of resurrection, first Duré then a vast swathe of humanity accept the cruciform as representative of and associated with their God. Yet the cruciform ultimately only separates them further from their faith, both physically and spiritually. The secular moral is similar, if leaning towards being Black Mirror -esque. People and societies alike should employ caution when attaching themselves to any shiny new fix-all, whether the danger comes from strings attached or its promises differing from expectation to reality. I'm currently re-reading Hyperion so may return with another of the pilgrim's stories at some point; let me know if you enjoyed hearing about this one! Thanks for reading and until next time <3

From big new adaptations to returning hits, this year is looking impressive Let There be Content So, did you know that the Murderbot trailer dropped this week? I've been anxious about this adaptation since the news first dropped online, a feeling which only increased when Alexander Skarsgård of all people was cast to play my favourite quirky SecUnit . My fears have been allayed a bit by both the trailer's excellent tone and seeing that author Martha Wells was involved to some extent with the production ( here's a lovely shot of her on set with the cast). But as I was reminded by Severance , it can be useful to retain a little caution alongside my optimism. As it happens, it was only from the suggested videos on the Murderbot trailer that I also learned both Black Mirror and Love, Death & Robots were returning on April 10th and May 15th respectively. If you're unfamiliar, both are anthology shows which feature different speculative fiction stories each episode. Black Mirror 's stories are all original and live action, while Love, Death & Robots ' are mostly  adaptations of short stories and animated in a variety of styles. Those three (plus Severance ) already had me interested in writing this post. Little did I know just how many shows are either debuting or returning this year. In terms of returning big-hitters, there's Stranger Things , The Last of Us , Gen V , The Handmaid's Tale , Star Trek: Strange New Worlds , For All Mankind , Yellowjackets , Severance , Doctor Who and (I'm sure) more Marvel and Star Wars shows than I could count – though I've at least heard good things about Andor . For new shows we have Murderbot , Alien: Earth , Star City and Blade Runner: 2099 , then towards the end of the year a return to Westeros for A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms . So... why am I writing about this? Collage of Posters for 2025 Shows Eyes and Ears I hope it's no secret that I believe speculative fiction stories, in addition to being quite entertaining, have a lot to teach us as both individuals and as a society. These stories reflect and clarify our fears, teach us empathy by giving us new perspectives and stoke our imaginations when life tries to extinguish them. As much as I love books, they very rarely reach the popularity of even the most average TV show. Having these stories depicted (well) on the screen can both help to propagate important ideas of today and pave the way for many more in the future. They can also help to spread the love of books! I discovered one of my favourite science fiction authors, Alastair Reynolds, because of his stories being adapted into Love, Death & Robots ' episodes 'Beyond the Aquila Rift' and 'Zima Blue'. Poster for Love, Death & Robots : 'Zima Blue' A great adaptation can make viewers that much more interested in the source material, just as a terrifying dystopian vision can incite interest and concern about real societal systems and technological developments. I've only watched the first episode of Black Mirror 's new season and I'm already seeing our subscription-based models of entertainment in a horrifying new light. (I know, a little ironic given how many streaming platform logos I've included in the images above.) I'll be writing more about the Murderbot books soon in preparation for the show, so consider giving them a try! The audiobooks are included with your Spotify Premium account (I cringe again), or see if your library has brought in more copies recently! Likely more TV content to follow as well, though I'll be more focused on my usual areas of interest than I was today. Any stories in particular that you're excited to see or read this year? Power Off But as great an escape as these shows may be, it’s also crucial that we continue fighting and advocating for the world we believe in. Bread and circuses  have come a long way since the days of the Romans, and even in the information age is still incredibly effective at soothing us away from acting in our own best interests. Let's do our best to address our real life dystopia in addition to enjoying the entertaining ones! Thanks for reading and until next time <3

Recognizing helpful vs. unhelpful guilt, with references to The Stormlight Archive and other books ADHD & Guilt In the process of getting my ADHD diagnosis back in 2021, I was surprised and relieved to learn about the strong association between the condition and guilt. People with ADHD can be highly sensitive to emotions , which can often exacerbate the effects of guilt and shame experienced when we (unknowingly) fail or differ from the norm due to our executive dysfunction . ( see hyperlinks for sources! ) I've written previously about one such source of guilt for me: the detritus of fleeting hobbies and interests around my home that I feel guilty for abandoning – doubly so when it was a gift, with attached expectations of my enjoying it. Without insights from diagnosis and education, it's all too easy for these feelings to grow and weigh us down like a tumour. But as with so many oppressive thoughts, knowledge and mindfulness can sometimes pop the guilt like a balloon: a bit of introspection will show that there's rarely anything of substance to actually feel guilty about. If anything, we can instead feel relieved to explain these painful memories as stemming from executive dysfunction and move on with our lives. Because ultimately, the " adaptive " purpose of guilt is simply to improve our future behaviour by encouraging us to repair social bonds, learn from our mistakes and generally behave with greater empathy and morality. In contrast, "maladaptive" guilt is either disconnected from our actions (" free-floating ") or a greatly exaggerated response to our actions (" contextual "). In my experience, ADHD leans heavily toward supplying maladaptive guilt. After all, our failures due to executive dysfunction are rarely cases of questionable morality or apathy: we're often on the right path, and our brains simply failed us. Our journey to learning about and working with out ADHD is the best solution we have in the here and now. Art by David Krovblit Kal & Dal & Shal Now this is a post about mental health, so you know I’m contractually obligated to bring up The Stormlight Archive . Specifically I want to contrast the ways guilt manifests in the lives and perspectives of each main character (Kaladin, Dalinar, Shallan and Szeth) to illustrate the comparisons that helped me wrap my mind around the different types of guilt. As I wrote about recently , Kaladin is a beacon of morality. (He’s Kaladin the Paladin after all.) That’s not to say his actions are entirely unimpeachable, but even his gravest errors are only the result of his sense of justice and morality breaking through at inopportune moments. Nonetheless, Kaladin is riddled with survivor's guilt and feels personally responsible for every death of those close to him. This is textbook maladaptive guilt (contextual, though his ongoing depression feels related to free-floating), weighing him down despite his best intentions and which he makes the greatest progress toward overcoming when swearing his Fourth Ideal: "I accept that there will be those I cannot protect." Kaladin & Tien, by shayndl_art I've also written about Dalinar's journey with guilt ! To briefly recap, in his youth Dalinar was an alcoholic warlord responsible for grievous war crimes and the deaths of thousands. (He was being pushed by an evil god, but the books make it clear that he was responsible for his actions.) He's a stark contrast to Kaladin in that every ounce of his guilt is obviously adaptive and purposeful: he wrought tremendous wrongs and now spends the books repenting by word and deed. At the climax of his arc in Oathbringer (and among many great quotes) he says: “ The most important words a man can say are, ‘I will do better.’ ” For all I've written about Stormlight , Shallan and Szeth have been criminally underrepresented. Both certainly have a lot to be guilty for, but each has sidelined the emotion in their own way: Shallan (who has Dissociative identity disorder ) by compartmentalizing it away along with her memories and Szeth by separating himself from responsibility through zealous commitment to different ideas and causes (I touched on him a little here ). Shallan was too young to have responsibility for her actions – 'killing' her mother and Testament – and even then only acted out of self-preservation. Szeth has spent his life unquestioningly serving different masters, out of a joint desire to be spared of responsibility for his actions and to believe in a force of cosmic order and justice. He also certainly has some underlying issues – perhaps related to executive dysfunction, given how he relies on others to make decisions for him – but ultimately conducted great evil willingly. And was utterly haunted by it. Shallan, Dalinar, Kaladin, Jasnah and Szeth, by Josh Corpuz Navarez & Senlin What inspired me to write this post was actually listening to To Sleep in a Sea of Stars by Christopher Paolini. ( Very light spoilers for it as I'm barely a third through this near- Stormlight length tome myself.) Point-of-view character Kira Navarez is also grappling with a form of survivor's guilt, coupled with the Shallan-like fear that she was personally responsible for bringing on doom. It seems like she's made peace with it so far, but I'm interested to see how it develops! The other book I was reading this week, Senlin Ascends , provides an interesting contrast. Thomas Senlin's optimism and imagined worldliness are clearly responsible for his and Marya's predicament – separated by the chaotic sea of humanity at the Tower – but their experiences of guilt are utterly matter-of-fact. Neither of them wallow in self-deprecation for past mistakes: Senlin thinks only of the future, while Marya displays a little sense and attends to the present first. Of course part of the reason Senlin isn't guilty is that he has yet to be entirely rid of his delusions, but the Tower provides that education in good order. Still, the couple's ability to (independently) focus and plan without giving thought to guilt is a little aspirational to me after spending so long in my own maladaptive brain. Anyway! Focus on the things you can change, accept the things you can't. "I will do better." Thanks for reading and until next time <3

Katherine Addison shines a discerning light on her world and our own Mirrored Reflections Part of the reason I first became enamored with speculative fiction and later started this blog was simply my wonder at recognizing the powerful societal morals and messages these stories so often offer. Watching lots of Star Trek at a young age probably helped send me down this path; I remember my dad asking my sister and me if we understood the underlying message of one particular episode , which we did, though I'm not sure how true that was of many. Later, as I was learning about class consciousness, I was deeply struck by the inhuman avarice and apathy of institutions like Tessier-Ashpool ( Neuromancer ), Weyland-Yutani ( Alien ) and Tyrell Corporation ( Blade Runner ) – all greater, systemic antagonists than the small villains standing in the protagonists' way. As I've said many times before, speculative fiction is built on this principle of exploring real world ideas through a new lens. And while listening to Katherine Addison's newly released The Tomb of Dragons , I learned even more respect for authors who are able to convey these ideas so well. ( Spoilers for the novel below .) Evoking Life I think part of what makes Addison's writing so compelling to me is how grounded she keeps her world and her characters' perspectives. In The Goblin Emperor , Maya was raised without expectations and maintained a sense of justice and humility even on ascending to the most powerful position in the world. Thara Celehar likewise rarely looks beyond the bare necessities of his life, despite being an incredibly gifted priest and investigator. The Tomb of Dragons sees Celehar dealing with a host of new issues on top of a few lingering ones from The Grief of Stones , and it's tough to find any that lack analogues to our own lives and world. First, a couple personal ones: A major development from the previous book was the loss of his ability to commune with the dead; a deep personal injury and threatening to his ability to maintain his profession. Both his fraught journey to accepting the loss and his catharsis at eventually finding his abilities (divinely?) restored are emotional and relatable – you wouldn't believe how many times I've worried I've lost my interest in reading, only to realize it's the book and not me (somehow twice this week, between physical and audio books). Later, overwhelmed by inner and outer conflicts, Celehar suddenly demands to know the intentions of his friend Iäna Pel-Thenhior. Fans had certainly painted their relationship as leading toward romantic, and Iäna's kindness and generosity (though not alone among his friends) seemed to be leading Celehar to similar assumptions. Iäna confirms that he only wants to be friends and Celehar is relieved; he's also stealthily developed a (reciprocated) crush on a new character in this book. It's a simple scene and slightly awkward, but it's the kind of important real life communication we need to see represented more in media. Dragon Skull, by Guilhem Venezia A Harsh World I've mentioned previously that Addison has a certain dark humour in portraying the grim practicality of her world; Celehar's magical ability to communicate with the dead is mostly employed to help locate and litigate the deceased's wills, for example. The Tomb of Dragons leans into this by following in the footsteps of all those stories I discussed above: the second time we hear about mythical dragons in this series, it is to learn that they were all but exterminated 120 years ago by the Clenverada Mining Company on their way to seeking out and securing the richest mineral veins. Not only did this violate a treaty, but the Company's "dragon slaying" was accomplished by simply flooding the dragons' mountain tunnels with gas. It's a brutal revelation that evokes our own history of colonization and ecological destruction. How many lives have been snuffed out in our world because someone else wanted to make a buck? This grim image is only strengthened by the fact that Celehar is kidnapped and brought to the Tomb by a new, desperate band of miners trying to earn a living off of the already picked-clean mountain, but who are suffering losses to the undead dragon spirit Ithalpherix – hungry for revenge after seeing her people slaughtered. Celehar accepts the dragon's petition to seek justice for the victims, in the form of restitutions from the still prosperous and influential Clenverada. Thanks to past acquaintance he is able to secure an audience with the Emperor (it was so damn great to see Maya again!), but even ignoring their influence he is wary of the economic repercussions of so many Clenverada employees being let go. Ultimately, justice is only possible because the Clenverada had also been implicated in supporting an attempted coup – Maya is able to seize the Company on behalf of the imperial crown and thereby personally see to meeting Ithalpherix' demands. Political and corporate corruption going hand in hand? Now that's pure fantasy. And Many More The scene with Maya sees him and Celehar traversing the imperial vaults, and it is striking to see that Maya has thus far been unaware of what an absurd amount of material wealth is technically his as emperor, but is practically useless: he has an entire floor of carriages gifted to the emperors over the years, none of which can be sold, gifted or returned for fear of offending the original donors or their descendants. The same is true for all kinds of artwork and furniture. I think this is a beautifully apt image of how wealth and power beget more wealth and power to ridiculous excess; albeit in our world there's nothing stopping the 1% actually putting their stagnant funds to actual use. Before being kidnapped, Celehar is assigned to investigate why a cemetery hasn't been able to accommodate new burials for years. I'll spare you the bureaucratic hell he encounters on his way to solving the problem, but believe me when I say it is genuinely aggravating. At the centre of the web is a decades-dead assistant literally buried in paperwork for a cemetery that can't take more bodies... so again I'll praise Addison for her creative imagery. There's another couple side plots that I've somehow completely avoided – the Clenverada try pretty hard to murder Celehar before he can testify on behalf of the dragons, for one – but I'll leave it there for now. I love how Addison manages to tackle so many important issues while maintaining such brilliant quality to her writing; the tragedy of the dragons in particular will stick with me for a long time, and already has me thinking more about our own responsibilities toward past victims. Are there any books/authors that have helped you come to similar realizations? Would love to hear about them! Thanks for reading and until next time <3

Taking back control through mindful individuality Revisiting & Relearning While re-reading Josiah Bancroft’s Senlin Ascends (2013) this week, a scene struck me in a new way - mirroring an idea about societal systems I’d explored in one of my previous posts and helping me to see connections with other topics on mindfulness and self-determination as well. So, I don’t know that I’ll be discussing anything brand new today! Instead I hope to bring together a few ideas and synthesize a broader moral for us all to take away. After all, picking up tidbits of knowledge is great, but don't we really learn when we begin recognizing patterns and seeing connections between previously disparate ideas? The Parlour Impressive worldbuilding is always a great way to get me interested in a book, and The Books of Babel series certainly doesn't disappoint. The Tower is an incredibly strange setting, its chaos heightened by our point of view character Tom Senlin being entirely unprepared for it. (Much of his prior knowledge comes from the in-world text Everyman's Guide to the Tower of Babel , a hilariously uninformative and unhelpful tourist handbook full of vague aphorisms about life in the Tower. Might be a fun topic for another post.) As I discussed in my previous post about the series, Senlin is immediately separated from his new wife Marya (this is supposed to be their honeymoon) and is promptly robbed twice before he begins to realize his preconceptions might be slightly faulty. After a stint on a beer-me-go-round (art below) to stay hydrated, he eventually makes it to the second level of the Tower, called the Parlour. Senlin Ascends Limited Edition interior art by Thomas Kidd Here he learns that, rather than casually taking in a show as the Guide suggests, every visitor is assigned a role in the current theatrical scenario which they are expected to complete before ascending. Failing to obey the rules – only travelling through your character's doors, stoking the fireplace in each room you enter – yields branding on first offense and loss of limbs on subsequent ones. Suffice to say that Senlin's performance doesn't go very smoothly, to no fault of his own. He and his new acquaintance Edith barely escape their drunk and murderous co-star, but along the way Edith has accidentally violated both rules. Senlin attempts to see her pardoned through the Parlour's backstage roughshod legal system, but to no avail. It's only when he's leaving, separated from Edith for the present and sent up to the Baths, that he learns his and Edith's representative – and by extension everyone in the Parlour – is in fact just another actor, doing his best to fulfill his role . I think there are two main morals to take from this episode and revelation. First, the simple but hidden truth that no one in our world really knows what they're doing. We're all just actors faking it until we make it and/or trying things to see if we like them. But I think Senlin (and the book) are more focused on the second: that normal people, by doing their best to follow simple instructions, are unconsciously perpetuating such a cruel and unjust system . It's philosopher Hannah Arendt's explanation of the banality of evil , reframed by having all participants take on roles and thereby separating them from responsibility for their actions. Part of what is so eerily compelling about the Parlour to me is that, as far as we know, there is no evil force currently pulling the strings here. Someone set up the system at one point, and we later learn that another person indirectly benefits from it, but it is simply actors carrying out the everyday evils of torture, injury and dehumanizing bureaucracy. Empire I previously brought up a similar idea with regard to Seth Dickinson's Masquerade novels; the minds behind the empire of Falcrest hope to establish exactly the same kind of self-perpetuating system that would inherently shape people to behave civilized ('hygienic') and keep them that way. But even before then, it's harrowing to realize that people like Baru and Xate Yawa – who want to bring down Falcrest from within – are further perpetuating the system by both their compliance and predicted betrayals. I shudder to imagine a world where every single person doing their best to break down the cage around them are unknowingly reinforcing and strengthening it with every blow. Partly because that's exactly the world we live in. An idea I've come across recently is that seeing or hearing other people discuss societal problems makes us less likely to take action as individuals. With the abundance of online content that reaffirms our beliefs, why would we ever have to take personal action? Someone else will deal with it, right? Turns out by having everyone rattle the cage a little bit, we might actively be prolonging our incarceration. Individualism? So, what the hell do we do? Well I'm certainly not vouching for Randian Individualism – if anything, I think acting solely for oneself makes it that much easier to be predicted and controlled by the systems we find ourselves in – but rather to be mindful and socially responsible. Baru takes a long time (and a lot of physical and emotional trauma) to realize the multiple levels of control she's been under, but eventually learns to truly think and act on behalf a nobler goal and a vision of a better world. For us and for the actors who make up the Parlour, the path isn't going to be much easier. (Turns out stoking the fireplaces is part of another massive, multi-floor system that keeps the Tower running, though very few individuals know it. It would be thereby be hard to start affecting any change or flexibility on the Parlour's rules and punishments – just as truly dealing with systemic issues in our world will quickly run up against things we see as absolute necessities.) But by being a little more mindful and present, recognizing our responsibility for our actions, practicing a little more empathy and encouraging others to do the same, maybe we'll begin to see a shift. Better to do our best than be totally controlled, no? If you know of other examples of this imagery – unwilling cogs making up a terrifying system – I'd love to hear about them! Thanks for reading and until next time <3

Learning how (not) to approach self-improvement, via The Screwtape Letters & CGP Grey's "7 Ways to Maximize Misery" Evil & Misery This week I enjoyed returning to C.S. Lewis' 1942 story The Screwtape Letters after more than a decade and was surprised to find a strong parallel to a short YouTube video that has helped push me forward on my mental health journey – so why not write about it! Now yes, The Screwtape Letters is a Christian story with Christian morals – albeit taught through satire and by contradiction – but I found that it also has plenty of useful (non)advice along the same lines as many of the stories I discuss here. Maybe I'll get more into a secular reading of the Letters in another post (where I'll promptly rip the sequel to shreds), but today I wanted to focus on a few specific excerpts from the book. If you're unfamiliar or need a brief recap, The Screwtape Letters are told in the form of letters from the demon Screwtape to his nephew Wormwood, advising him through the process of tempting his first human 'patient' toward Hell and away from God (referred to as 'the Enemy' throughout). What makes Screwtape's advice so interesting is that, rather than attempting to aim the patient directly away from Christian doctrine (like the fears of the Satanic Panic ), he suggests Wormwood work very subtly in and around the patient's faith and life. Where violent death in WW2 (ongoing while Lewis wrote and published) might sound like an obvious goal for demons, keeping the patient alive is instead necessary for temptation to take root. Likewise Screwtape advises that keeping a casual, shallow faith alive is more productive than kindling atheism or outright evil because there is less risk of sudden conversion or redemption. And that's a recurring theme: complacency & stagnancy, coupled with social irritants to drown out any dregs of empathy and nothingness in the place of any great pleasure/pain, are Screwtape's keys to destroying a human life. Wormwood & patient above / Screwtape below, art by TotemOfHorror The Text(s) Just read this passage (again, from over eighty years ago) and see if anything feels strangely reminiscent of our modern life: We do not have to contend with the explicit repentance of a definite, fully recognised, sin, but only with his vague, though uneasy, feeling that he hasn’t been doing very well lately … As the uneasiness and his reluctance to face it cut him off more and more from all real happiness, and as habit renders the pleasures of vanity and excitement and flippancy at once less pleasant and harder to forgo (for that is what habit fortunately does to a pleasure) you will find that anything or nothing is sufficient to attract his wandering attention … You can make him do nothing at all for long periods ... All the healthy and out-going activities which we want him to avoid can be inhibited and nothing given in return, so that at least he may say, as one of my own patients said on his arrival down here, ‘I now see that I spent most of my life in doing neither what I ought nor what I liked.’ … Nothing is very strong: strong enough to steal away a man’s best years not in sweet sins but in a dreary flickering of the mind over it knows not what and knows not why, in the gratification of curiosities so feeble that the man is only half aware of them , in drumming of fingers and kicking of heels, in whistling tunes that he does not like, or in the long, dim labyrinth of reveries that have not even lust or ambition to give them a relish, but which, once chance association has started them, the creature is too weak and fuddled to shake off. – C.S. Lewis , The Screwtape Letters Oh boy, if Lewis could have only imagined the internet. Here I'll also share CGP Grey's video from a few years ago, which uses the same satirical, contradictory style to tell you how to improve your life: Do vs. Don't For whatever reason, this line of argument toward self-improvement elicits far less anxiety in me than a straightforward "here is how you fix your life." Maybe that feels restrictive and claustrophobic, where simply saying "don't do this worst possible thing" offers a more flexible route with room for creative experimentation. I think it also relates to the importance of breaking problems down: both these texts take what feels like a tumultuous unknown mass of misery and help delineate them into individual issues with clear, simple steps you can take to begin dealing with them. This relates directly to mindfulness, which both texts (satirically) argue against fervently; being aware of the problem is halfway to solving it, which is hardly useful to either evil or misery. All of this also plays into our fear of the unknown. These texts mirror a technique I learned in therapy, which is simply to put our fear of the worst case scenario into words and thereby cut through some of that dense fog. Lewis and CGP Grey are telling you the absolute worst way to live: clearing away the fog and, even if you're nearer their cruel lighthouse than you'd like, hopefully showing you a way home. Do you know of any other pieces that use the same technique? Is there a better name for it than something akin to ' proof by contradiction '? How's your cat doing? I'd love to hear from you! If you're interested in reading more about mindfulness and self-improvement, I'm particularly proud of this piece ! Thanks for reading and until next time <3